Project Moira

I believe the biggest challenge that significantly impacts my life is a lack of confidence in my skills and abilities to accomplish things on my own. I often feel unsure if I can manage things by myself. I worry a lot, too much, about what could go wrong. I want to strike a balance between thinking ahead and just doing things. A lot of the time, if I’m thinking about something for too long, I can talk myself out of it.

Well, I’m not too interested in sports, but if I had to pick a color and a mascot, I think I’d choose one of my favorite animals: a fox. For the colors, some mix of green, orange, and white.

I won’t specify what I believe in, but yes, my views have evolved. I think that should be expected. Most of my views were formed when I was younger, like eighteen. Now, with some life experience, I naturally feel differently about things. I don’t ever want to be in a position where I’m so stuck in my ways that nothing can change my mind. Learning new information should prompt you to reevaluate your beliefs to determine if they align with reality.

It’s a bit of a lofty dream, but I love walls decorated in elaborate wood paneling. This is quite expensive, of course, but it makes rooms look complete and like individual works of art. I particularly like cooler wooden tones with muted colors. Blues and greens make a space feel calming to me.

I suppose the most important thing for a working atmosphere is comfort and clarity. If there’s too much in the space, I can’t focus. I like my desk to have only a few personal momentos. Vital things like planners and notebooks should be easily within reach.

Daily writing prompt

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

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I don’t think so. I hadn’t really laid out clear expectations for my life. I know what I want to do, it’s just that the details are a bit muddy. I suppose I would say I’ve made more progress than I thought I would. Honestly, it might be a good idea to make 1-year or 5-year projections, then revisit them to see if my life is going to plan.

I have an idea of what my next steps are. It’s just a bit tricky since I will be experiencing a lot of things for the first time.

Maybe as a New Year’s resolution type thing, I’ll write what I think my life will look like in a year, then revisit.

Daily writing prompt

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

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Recently, I’ve learned that, sometimes, you need to let people go. There was someone in my life who gave me a lot of anxiety. My feelings for them were confused. I felt they were too blunt, saying things that most people who have the sense to keep to themselves.

I overthought what to do with this person for a long time. I wondered what I owed them. We were really only friends. Very distant ones at that. Despite this distance, they had a big effect on my mental health.

For several reasons, I realized I needed to distance myself. I’ve been working on my mental health, and seeing this person would bring me back into old habits I had been trying hard to kick.

After I cut the connection, I felt guilty. I wondered if they needed me, if I was giving them support by just being there. But I couldn’t give my support any longer. I’ve come to accept that they’re gone. I have already seen a significant improvement in terms of my focus and clarity.

Daily writing prompt

What cities do you want to visit?

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To be honest, I can’t think of any specific cities that stand out to me. I do want to travel places, but I think I would prefer visiting smaller towns. I think what I most want to see are the natural wonders of the world, like the Aurora Borealis, Victoria Falls, or any of the national parks of the states.

Daily writing prompt

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

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I guess I’d just like people to recognize my positive traits. I’m quite diligent and methodical in my work. I make an effort to be kind and responsive to the people who talk to me. I feel empathetic, and I try to understand people’s perspectives before making judgments.

It’s just nice to be recognized for the good traits you embody.

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

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I’ve performed in a school band before. It was way back in middle school. I don’t remember much about it. I might have been a little nervous, but since I was in a larger group, I wasn’t too worried about anything.

The biggest presentation I’ve given by myself would be the ones I did in school. I always hated these. It was extremely high pressure to me. I was worried about any little slip up I made. I was most worried about any ridicule I might receive from my peers. My brain was always worried about that sort of thing. It seemed instinctual to me that I would avoid situations where I thought I might embarrass myself. But these mandatory presentations were impossible to avoid.

I can safely say that they weren’t good presentations. I was way too nervous to be coherent. But I can see now that it’s important to develop exposure to the things you aren’t comfortable with. To engage with the things that give you anxiety to train your brain. To realize that it wasn’t as bad as you were thinking. To overcome your anxieties.

Daily writing prompt

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

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I feel like I’m slowly becoming more myself, just as I experience new things. I thought for a while, that I needed to fix myself. I struggled to fit in, and I thought that was something to fix. But really, you just need to find likeminded people to connect with.

I am working on myself though. I suppose the biggest change I would like to make is to my social confidence. I feel quite comfortable in most one-on-one exchanges and even small groups, but large crowds really take it out of me.

The unfortunate thing is, to improve in this area, I have to force myself to get comfortable with large crowds by placing myself in them. While I’m improving, I will still have bad or embarrassing experiences. And there may never be a time when I’m fully comfortable.

I think a lot of life is spent just slowly stretching your comfort zone out. To see how far you can take yourself.